Every year I feel the same frustration when it comes to Christmas. How do I give my kids a magical Christmas morning with out giving them to much. My kids have so much. More than they need, more than they can appreciate, more than they can value. They can't distinguish between a thirty cent chucky cheese prize and a thirty dollar video game when it comes to valuing and cherishing what they have. I am not in any way saying that my kids are rotten and spoiled because I really don't believe that they are, I just worry that they live in a time where there is so much available to them. They come home from school with little prizes for doing their homework, they like to visit the dollar store, they enjoy happy meals and the little things that come with them. I worry that my kids enjoy getting something more than they enjoy having something, because having something and appreciating it means valuing it and taking care of it and respecting it and having a home for it. The other day, one of the kids left the sleds out and when I said they could get lost, they said "then we can just buy new ones." NO WE CAN"T! This is why I have a Christmas Dilemma. In the book MY GRANDFATHER"S BLESSINGS, by Rachel Naomi Remen she writesI have come to realize how much stress is caused by the sad fact that most of us believe in one way and live in quite another. Stress may be more a matter of personal integrity than time pressure determined by the distance between our authentic values and how we live our lives
So here I am feeling torn between wanting to give my children a magical Christmas that rewards their faith and buying things that are sometimes against my better judgement, things that will bring a blazing smile for a moment and then will be quickly forgotten, things that they think are cool because they saw the commercial but are things that I know won't live up to the hype.
So here are my questions for you. How do you deal with this dilemma, does it even bother you? Have you found an answer? I have thought that we should take our Christmas money and spend a week at the beach, forgetting all about presents, but I have yet to convince everyone else to try something new. I really struggle with this. Maybe I should just surrender to the Spirit of Christmas Expectations and clean out the kids closets for them in April.
4 comments:
Mara, I feel the same way. And I'm sorry that don't have an answer. The other day I told my boys if they didn't pick up their toys then I'd throw them all away. Kaysen said, "That's okay. You will just buy more." You should have seen the fire come out of my ears!! But to be a little reassuring - Morgan who is 13 seems to be gaining a little more respect. Maybe they will out grow it??? Maybe...
Leah really wanted a toy that I had not heard good reviews on. The easy bake cupcake maker. I just kindly explained that I knew someone that had it and it didn't work. The "friend" told me that the cupcakes tasted like dirt. The next time we were in the store she saw it and said, "too bad those cupcakes taste like dirt."
I have the same issues. When you figure it all out will you let me know. I would be all over going to a beach somewhere over lots of presents under a tree. But how to convince the rest of the family? I am pushing for what Bridget said...I really hope they just outgrow it.
I don't really have any answeres. Buy, here are two ideas. . .
1. We only give our kids three gifts. They know our three gift rule and understand that the things on their list are suggestions (not a definite shopping list.) Just having that expectation seems to make Christmas a little easier for everyone.
2. "Arresting" your kids toys. (I have heard about this one, but I haven't implemented it yet. I love the concept though.) I heard of one Mom who "arrests" her kids toys, book, shoes, sports equipment, etc. when she notices that it is not getting taken care of properly. Her kids know that if they don't take care of their stuff (or leave it laying around) that it gets put in "jail." The only way to get their stuff back is to do a special job. Next time they want to play with a jailed toy (or need their cleats for soccer etc.) and it isn't available they learn. I think it gives them a better respect and appreciation for what they have.
Good luck! I think this is an issue that every parent struggles with. I know that we have a hard time with appreciating what we have on a daily basis.
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