Things I almost missed out on

I bought an Amaryllis bulb during the first week in December. I thought it would be nice to have a beautiful red flower for Christmas. I potted it up the same day I got it, watered it, put it by the kitchen sink and waited. And waited and waited and waited. Nothing happened. Weeks passed and the bulb just sat there. it did start to look a little greener but these bulbs are supposed to grow quickly- an inch a night. I gave one to Kelly's grandmother last Christmas and hers grew beautifully. Mine was a dud. In January, I thought maybe it was time to throw it out. I like to give plants the benefit of the doubt. I have a hard time pulling up plants in the fall - I have to wait until they freeze and are really dead before I clean out the beds. So I gave the little amaryllis a little more time. And it started to grow. Slowly. So slowly. It took almost three months for the bulb to flower. But WOW, it was beautiful, a picture just can't do it justice. It had 6 beautiful bright red flowers. Then when those faded, it bloomed again. I look at it when I stand at the kitchen sink and I think "I almost missed out on you. I almost gave up".

When I see the flowers, it reminds me of something I did miss out on- one of those life lessons I try to remind myself of as often as I can. When I was pregnant with Kayla, I was doing a little sewing project for her room and I needed some fabric. It was late in the afternoon and I was tired and uncomfortable and hungry. I headed into the fabric store with Jason, thinking that all I wanted was to get this done quickly and get back home. As we walked through the store, Jason said "mom, look at this". Ugg. I was so irritated- you know how kids always want everything they see. I picked him up and dropped him a bit roughly into the shopping cart and headed to the fabric section. As I was looking at the material, my mind finally processed what he had been trying to show me. It wasn't something for him. It was something he thought I would like. It was a cute little decorative flower pot.



I felt horrible. I thought about this incident for days and decided to go back and get the little flower pot as a reminder to slow down and keep my heart open, but it was gone. I felt like I had missed out twice. Now as I look at my Amaryllis I remember. I am not being hard on myself. I am human and a mom 24 hours a day. I am going to have bad days. But I wonder sometimes what else have I missed out on because I was in a hurry, impatient, or uncomfortable. What would I gain if I slowed down a little bit, if I sat on the edge of the kids beds for a few minutes longer at night or stayed on my knees just a little bit longer. It is a reminder also to take care of myself so I can be there fully present for these moments, and not be too tired, hungry and cranky to appreciate the flowers pots in life.